HAPPY THOUGHTS
A handsome registered quarter horse gelding named José was donated to The Salem Equestrian Center (S.E.C.) in the summer of 2013. We quickly began the task of figuring out his “specialty”. According to their personality and temperament each horse at The Salem Equestrian Center has a teaching “specialty”. For example: Braxton specializes in teaching riders finesse and tact as well as the importance of trust, confidence and integrity. Lady’s forte is teaching riders the importance of relaxation and preparation as well as the importance of selflessness. The list goes on, each one of our horses according to their personality and temperament has a special set of strengths, weaknesses, talents and difficulties. This means that they excel at teaching different life skills to their riders. This is how our program works, by discovering the God given uniqueness of each horse, and each rider, and pairing them together for growth, healing and success!
When we chose to adopt José we knew he was going to be a gem. José came from a one family home where he got professional training, personal care, lots of love, and acquired a vast amount of experience. As we got to know him it became clear that we hadn’t just adopted a gem, but we had been blessed with a sparkling diamond of the highest quality! José has proven to be an exceptionally well trained, calm, stable “baby sitter” for beginner to advanced western pleasure riders. He is the epitome of every instructor’s dream horse. A go to for building his riders confidence in first trot or first canter lessons, and the proverbial “bomb proof” trail mount. If you know anything about horses, you know this fellow is priceless!! But what makes José so brilliant is not his strengths but his weaknesses. José is a “mirror”.
Now you might me thinking, “”Mirror”… what!? He is a horse?” Let me take some time outside of our story to explain what I am talking about. Within the genre of Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (E.A.P.) it is often said that the horse acts as a “mirror” helping people see themselves clearly and understand their shortcomings, feelings, strengths and struggles. This works because the horse is created to be highly sensitive to emotional atmospheres, body language and facial expressions, which enables them to survive and communicate with each other. As humans we tend to think our communications are only valid if spoken and our feeling are only understood when verbalized. We often miss subtler forms of communication. However, because deciphering subtlety is a horse’s God given primary specialty, they will often pick up on forms of altered stance, movement, expression and mood long before we do! For example: they will register “annoyance” LONG before the icy mental pressure of a physically tense and aggressive stance with hard stare and verbal explosion are clearly indicating “anger”... and they will respond! They can “mirror” our mental and physical state and help bring transparency to a situation.
At Salem we talk a lot about the concept of, active listening. This concept involves listening without biased, problem-solving, advice giving, or argumentative intentions. It is listening with the intention of identifying feelings and emotions regardless of rationality or appropriateness. It builds a foundation for progressive counseling and problem-solving by letting someone know they are cared for, and heard. Perhaps it would be helpful to think of the horse as one of the worlds’ best “active listeners” rather than a “mirror”!
Hopefully that little rabbit trail brought some clarity… now back to our story! José is a particularly good “active listener” because he of his temperament. He is a follower, and the lowest horse in our herds packing order. He is not an outcast, but he has a stronger desire to be led than to lead. As a submissive horse he is highly attentive to body language, facial expression, pressure and mood. He will show a rider what they are communicating faster than any other horse in the stable.
This is exactly what Melissa needed when she arrived at Salem. Outwardly Melissa was a beautiful young lady with lots of talent and a very great love of horses… inwardly anxious and self-doubting. Once José had settled into the lesson program he and Melissa started working together. It quickly became apparent that Melissa struggled to think positively about herself, her ability, and José. She became very frustrated when simple skills, like stopping, turned into a 3 minute: inch forward, inch sideways, back up slowly, western jog in place, head shaking event with José.
Very understandable! In her lessons Melissa was able to relate that she felt useless, anxious and frustrated because José wouldn’t do what the other horses would for their riders. And that thoughts of doubt and defeat started the moment she heard the phrase, “prepare to halt”. I explained that this is exactly what José was relating through his actions as well!
So Melissa and José started to practice thinking positively. Melissa was encouraged not to worry about making mistakes or getting things perfect! She was instructed to prepare herself for each task with José by reminding herself that she was a good rider, and José was a good horse who wanted to obey! When it came to stopping, she was taught to create a mental picture of José calmly planting all four feet in place, sighing and relaxing in a nice halt where they could stand still and he could enjoy a “good boy” pat on the neck.
Melissa was shocked! She was absolutely floored by the difference in José’s responses when she relaxed and thought positively about herself, her horse and the task at hand. It took continual practice, but Melissa found daily success both at the stable and at school. She began growing into her full potential as she practiced building herself and others up, beginning with the strength of her own happy thoughts.
Melissa relayed her gratitude for the ability to interact with animals here at Salem in a recent writing project:
“The horses have helped me feel better about myself because I feel like when I ride the horses, I’m experiencing something new and fun. I also feel better about myself when I ride horses because it gets my mind off of all the negative things that I am worried about. Having horses and therapy dogs at Salem is good because it gives us kids at Salem a chance to get our minds off of things that we don’t need to worry about. It’s so good because it gives us kids some free time, which makes us feel better and makes us a lot happier.”
